save for some silent ME time, i would want to spend more hours of chatting with friends --- there are just so many stories (and tsismis!) to swap and musings to share and theories (in life, that is) to debunk or prove and ideals to be wishful for.
i do not have a lot of friends but i believe i am blessed to have quality friendships. when i think about it carefully, and some might be upset over this, i cannot, for the life of me, distinctly define a close friend, a good friend, a true friend. because for me, a friend is a friend. period. no adjective can ever sugarcoat (as if needed) who or what a friend is. of course, when i do greet friends on their special occasions, it is only but fitting to say, "thank you my dear friend.." dear=true=cherished=blessing.
i will not ramble about how good a friend i am because, admittedly, i am never physically present in reunions nor do i remember all birthdays (and those happy occasions) unless these are saved in my phone's calendar (which, sadly, had to be rebuilt --- you all know the story). and there are those times when it is so crazy to even catch up with my own schedule but of course i try my best to be a friend, specially when needed.
when i was younger, i felt strongly that friends should be there with you and for you in good times and in bad. however, in real life, when we are all living our dreams (to stardom and hefty paychecks) or juggling all roles that do not necessarily fit us yet roles that needed fulfilling, it is a constant source of guilt and yes, regret that we cannot be in two places at the same time. inasmuch as you would want to be a friend to a friend when she is happiest (or saddest, which usually is expected from us), there are just those times that you cannot be, no matter how you wanted to. there are reasons for these (for others, could be perceived as mere excuses) --- reasons that your friend will always understand because, after all, you are friends.
this, i think, is the best thing about friendship. it is never clingy nor coercive. it is accepting and understanding. there is no need to explain, even if you do explain not being available to chat, because you naturally talk about life and kids and work and frustrations and joys as if you were not misplaced by time and distance.
i have been told before that i have a generous heart and that i shower friends with gifts --- that usually come as surprises --- little things that always come with those sappy, mushy notes i loved to write. i know that i haven't done that for the longest time. either my purchasing power has diminished or i have not been seeing friends lately. both are wrong assumptions because my cash flow never improved nor regressed, and i have been meeting up with friends. however, at my age, i realized that time spent and conversations are (more) meaningful, and reaffirmations and prayers are more empowering. i cannot claim that i am such an inspirational speaker or else i would have shifted careers! but i am just so thankful that i share with my friends a lot of time talking, given that opportunity of time!, about things --- the most wicked of things inspire us to do good; the nicest stories compel us to pay it forward; the saddest or most painful experiences allow us to cry, cleanse, let go and move on; the happiest, feel-good things we share and are thankful for.
more often than not, my friends share this "feeling" of wanting to get in touch, only to realize once the conversation begins that we needed someone to talk to. and this is something that we do not hate each other for. in fact, we are simply grateful that we have perfected the gift of timing, and listening too.
at 37, i am more appreciative of those times when i am a friend during the really trying, lowest, evil, downhill spiral times. the conversations AND a friend's presence is real, grounded and un-pretentious. my own friends might not agree with me, which is fine really. after all, we have different circumstances and points of view and yes, lessons. but the many times i had talks with friends that made lasting impressions (on me) and a great deal of impact of how i am now is when we are at our weakest and most vulnerable. (i attempted to make mention of all these friends i literally grew up with, in terms of grace and wisdom but i had to do a double take because i do not want to miss out on someone. and it hit me, i have many friends. and this post is for you, which comes with a prayer that God's special blessing comes your way today.)
i do not have a lot of friends but i believe i am blessed to have quality friendships. when i think about it carefully, and some might be upset over this, i cannot, for the life of me, distinctly define a close friend, a good friend, a true friend. because for me, a friend is a friend. period. no adjective can ever sugarcoat (as if needed) who or what a friend is. of course, when i do greet friends on their special occasions, it is only but fitting to say, "thank you my dear friend.." dear=true=cherished=blessing.
i will not ramble about how good a friend i am because, admittedly, i am never physically present in reunions nor do i remember all birthdays (and those happy occasions) unless these are saved in my phone's calendar (which, sadly, had to be rebuilt --- you all know the story). and there are those times when it is so crazy to even catch up with my own schedule but of course i try my best to be a friend, specially when needed.
when i was younger, i felt strongly that friends should be there with you and for you in good times and in bad. however, in real life, when we are all living our dreams (to stardom and hefty paychecks) or juggling all roles that do not necessarily fit us yet roles that needed fulfilling, it is a constant source of guilt and yes, regret that we cannot be in two places at the same time. inasmuch as you would want to be a friend to a friend when she is happiest (or saddest, which usually is expected from us), there are just those times that you cannot be, no matter how you wanted to. there are reasons for these (for others, could be perceived as mere excuses) --- reasons that your friend will always understand because, after all, you are friends.
this, i think, is the best thing about friendship. it is never clingy nor coercive. it is accepting and understanding. there is no need to explain, even if you do explain not being available to chat, because you naturally talk about life and kids and work and frustrations and joys as if you were not misplaced by time and distance.
i have been told before that i have a generous heart and that i shower friends with gifts --- that usually come as surprises --- little things that always come with those sappy, mushy notes i loved to write. i know that i haven't done that for the longest time. either my purchasing power has diminished or i have not been seeing friends lately. both are wrong assumptions because my cash flow never improved nor regressed, and i have been meeting up with friends. however, at my age, i realized that time spent and conversations are (more) meaningful, and reaffirmations and prayers are more empowering. i cannot claim that i am such an inspirational speaker or else i would have shifted careers! but i am just so thankful that i share with my friends a lot of time talking, given that opportunity of time!, about things --- the most wicked of things inspire us to do good; the nicest stories compel us to pay it forward; the saddest or most painful experiences allow us to cry, cleanse, let go and move on; the happiest, feel-good things we share and are thankful for.
more often than not, my friends share this "feeling" of wanting to get in touch, only to realize once the conversation begins that we needed someone to talk to. and this is something that we do not hate each other for. in fact, we are simply grateful that we have perfected the gift of timing, and listening too.
at 37, i am more appreciative of those times when i am a friend during the really trying, lowest, evil, downhill spiral times. the conversations AND a friend's presence is real, grounded and un-pretentious. my own friends might not agree with me, which is fine really. after all, we have different circumstances and points of view and yes, lessons. but the many times i had talks with friends that made lasting impressions (on me) and a great deal of impact of how i am now is when we are at our weakest and most vulnerable. (i attempted to make mention of all these friends i literally grew up with, in terms of grace and wisdom but i had to do a double take because i do not want to miss out on someone. and it hit me, i have many friends. and this post is for you, which comes with a prayer that God's special blessing comes your way today.)
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