it's a good thing that i strictly adhere to self-censorship on Facebook. while i go public on some of my feelings, even on the mundane things that i busy myself with when i'm bored with my pretty steady life, i do not go around posting (personal) statuses that could, in any way, allude to someone (or a total stranger who simply happens to be within my "6th degree of separation"), pique interest resulting to controversies (then magnified to a full-blown scandal), or treat life as a mere gag that could be poked and probed and joked about insensitively.
i guess, we are just but a handful of the more responsible users of FB.
thankfully, most, if not all, of my 1,500++ contacts (whom i happen to know really and are friends and colleagues) are as responsible as i am.
i am blessed to be associated and affiliated with people who may not all be geniuses but have good heads over their shoulders --- who know common courtesy, are not lacking in sound judgment and foresight, not "full of themselves", humble to apologize (sincerely!) when wrong and responsible for one's own actions.
the recent happenings on FB (not mine) but have adversely affected my well-being spoke volumes on how a person's seemingly (and claimed) "fun" post could go full-blown and out of proportion because people read posts and post comments online then everything else continues in real life.
with every social networking site, one's virtual presence is no longer separate nor un-connected to his/her own lived life with his/her family, friends, colleagues, even strangers.
in real life, we are connected somehow by blood, by affinity, by association. on FB, we are interconnected (whether we like it or not) because of posts, of tagged photos, of shared notes. while we could control and manipulate our FB settings to filter unwanted, irrelevant posts, block people and safeguard our own profiles, THERE IS NO WAY WE CAN STOP PEOPLE WHEN, IN REAL LIFE OUTSIDE FACEBOOK, THEY START SPECULATING, SPREADING RUMORS, TALKING IN HUSHED TONES, GIVING YOU KNOWING GLANCES --- AND ALL THESE STARTED FROM A "GAG" ONE PERSON POSTED.
how do you put out a mass reaction that seemed to spread like wild fire?
how do you now comfort people who are affected (directly and indirectly) from a seemingly "innocent" post?
how in, God's name, could you clear these people's names?
how can you make them go back to their (private) lives as if nothing happened?
can a simple "sorry" (which i doubt is not even sincere, and that on its own, deserves a separate post altogether) extinguish all the harrowing moments that these people had to relive every single time they walk down your office hallways and others continue to throw them knowing glances?
YOU CANNOT. YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO.
and no matter how fast your family or your subordinates draw a crisis management plan for you to salvage others' reputation that you have tainted --- your short-sightedness has led to one catastrophic, emotional impact on another person then another and another.
i believe in karmic retribution, i believe in God's justice but i strongly believe that there should be a judicial system here on earth that works --- that DOES NOT and WILL NEVER look at personalities nor wealth, nor power and position, nor surnames.
even when my concern does not merit a day in court, there has to be some venue that a person's irresponsibility be scrutinized. to paraphrase a friend's post sometime ago, one's "besmirched reputation, mental anguish, serious anxiety, wounded feelings, moral shock, social humiliation" that has been caused by another person merits some serious investigation.
YOU ARE NOT GOD. YOU CANNOT UNDO THINGS DONE AND WORDS SPOKEN.
which actually leads me to saying this further --- no one is above the law. this person might be somebody somewhere but in the grand scheme of things, s/he is just like everybody else --- who will be praised and commended for a job well done, who will be castigated for a wrong deed.
if you think you could get away with things as you have been used to, sometime, not maybe in this lifetime, but somehow, you will get what you rightfully deserve.
it's not in my character to wish people ill but i hope you do not get sleepless nights, lost appetite, staring blankly onto space, crying fits because all these are not, in any way, "feel good." i do hope you do not go around your daily grind with a seemingly heavy shoulder because the world seemed to be heavy on top of it. i pray that you do not experience a seemingly difficult bout of breathing as if there is a huge boulder lodged between your pericardium (IF in the first place, you know what a pericardium is).
i do not care who you are and what you are in your workplace. because when you step outside Mother Ignacia, you are as ordinary as the next person beside you. In my eyes, YOU ARE NOBODY. i do not know you; you are not my colleague, and i do not even belong to the same industry that your organization belongs to.
but your FB posts impacted on me --- because people had a field day insinuating and enjoyed several days of guessing games. because mr p's name has surfaced and floated from these people's speculations to the point of he being teased, being interrogated pointblank, and being stared at. there is no way that you can still claim that your post was not meant to cause hurt. because it did.
YOU ARE VERY WRONG TO ASSUME THAT A "GAG" IS JUST TO BE TAKEN AS SUCH WHEN POSTED ON AN OPEN, UNCONTROLLED SPACE SUCH AS FACEBOOK.
would you now go out of your way to approaching people (who commented, who read your post, who heard it from others) and telling each and everyone that it was just a "gag" and did not really mean anything?
would you go out of your way apologizing for the pain you caused and the name you besmirched?
would you have the brain to finally realize the adverse impact of your posts?
would you even have the heart to be able to empathize and feel for those who were affected as they are demoralized, anxious and anguished?
your lack of foresight did not only taint mr p's name (that he built through hard work) but it has caused me unwarranted stress and anguish. when people look at him as if he were the one who was caught on the act with someone in the workplace, it alleges how indecent he is, how uncommitted he is, how he disregards his relationship with me.
and you wonder why all eyes are on you when you. as you claimed, you did not mean anything to begin with? BUT people never looked at mr p differently until you posted that blind item, with a qualifier, "magaling na editor." you have, i guess, forgotten that the "magaling na editor" you mentioned in your post would probably have other roles in his (private) life beyond work, that PROBABLY he is someone else's son, father, sibling or partner. that in a bigger picture that you painted, there could probably be a person, who may be indirectly hit by your insinuations, indirect but still as impacted.
you might not be able to read this and even if you do, i doubt that you have the mental faculty and the emotional quotient to understand ---
let it be known, however, that i am affected adversely. you do not know my history nor the circumstances that i share with mr p, much more the hard work we put in our relationship. i take pride in the fact that we (mr p and i) share as much primacy to commitment, faithfulness and respect that (some) people, in committed relationships, seem to take for granted.
what you did is a double-edged sword --- while i feel so disheartened seeing mr p pained for his name being dragged, i have my own (hurt) feelings to address. i do not work in your organization. i do not work for you. we are not friends. even when i bump into you, i would not know what you look like but i will always remember that you violated me and everything that i cherished.
i can go on and on detailing here how irresponsible you are in every possible way but i realized it is a futile exercise. you will always believe how good you are and gloat how seemingly innocent your posts were.
you might even go scot-free and never to be made accountable for what you did. something that i think is not impossible given that you, by affinity and affiliation, belong to the powers that be in your organization.
i know, however, that this too shall come to pass. whatever trying times we (mr p and i) are facing now (as caused by you!) would only make us stronger because it did not kill us in the first place.
if there is but two things i realized:
(1) kabobohan and kayabangan are two lethal things by themselves but if found together, in a combo, makes one person believe that s/he is all "untouchable" and has about an entitlement to anything and everything.
(2) i am just TOO glad i pick my friends and associations, by choice. when i do a quick survey of the people in my life, those i cherish and those i work with, i realized how truly blessed i am --- to not have to work with you ---- because you are so full of yourself, a shitload of crap.
i guess, we are just but a handful of the more responsible users of FB.
thankfully, most, if not all, of my 1,500++ contacts (whom i happen to know really and are friends and colleagues) are as responsible as i am.
i am blessed to be associated and affiliated with people who may not all be geniuses but have good heads over their shoulders --- who know common courtesy, are not lacking in sound judgment and foresight, not "full of themselves", humble to apologize (sincerely!) when wrong and responsible for one's own actions.
the recent happenings on FB (not mine) but have adversely affected my well-being spoke volumes on how a person's seemingly (and claimed) "fun" post could go full-blown and out of proportion because people read posts and post comments online then everything else continues in real life.
with every social networking site, one's virtual presence is no longer separate nor un-connected to his/her own lived life with his/her family, friends, colleagues, even strangers.
in real life, we are connected somehow by blood, by affinity, by association. on FB, we are interconnected (whether we like it or not) because of posts, of tagged photos, of shared notes. while we could control and manipulate our FB settings to filter unwanted, irrelevant posts, block people and safeguard our own profiles, THERE IS NO WAY WE CAN STOP PEOPLE WHEN, IN REAL LIFE OUTSIDE FACEBOOK, THEY START SPECULATING, SPREADING RUMORS, TALKING IN HUSHED TONES, GIVING YOU KNOWING GLANCES --- AND ALL THESE STARTED FROM A "GAG" ONE PERSON POSTED.
how do you put out a mass reaction that seemed to spread like wild fire?
how do you now comfort people who are affected (directly and indirectly) from a seemingly "innocent" post?
how in, God's name, could you clear these people's names?
how can you make them go back to their (private) lives as if nothing happened?
can a simple "sorry" (which i doubt is not even sincere, and that on its own, deserves a separate post altogether) extinguish all the harrowing moments that these people had to relive every single time they walk down your office hallways and others continue to throw them knowing glances?
YOU CANNOT. YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO.
and no matter how fast your family or your subordinates draw a crisis management plan for you to salvage others' reputation that you have tainted --- your short-sightedness has led to one catastrophic, emotional impact on another person then another and another.
i believe in karmic retribution, i believe in God's justice but i strongly believe that there should be a judicial system here on earth that works --- that DOES NOT and WILL NEVER look at personalities nor wealth, nor power and position, nor surnames.
even when my concern does not merit a day in court, there has to be some venue that a person's irresponsibility be scrutinized. to paraphrase a friend's post sometime ago, one's "besmirched reputation, mental anguish, serious anxiety, wounded feelings, moral shock, social humiliation" that has been caused by another person merits some serious investigation.
YOU ARE NOT GOD. YOU CANNOT UNDO THINGS DONE AND WORDS SPOKEN.
which actually leads me to saying this further --- no one is above the law. this person might be somebody somewhere but in the grand scheme of things, s/he is just like everybody else --- who will be praised and commended for a job well done, who will be castigated for a wrong deed.
if you think you could get away with things as you have been used to, sometime, not maybe in this lifetime, but somehow, you will get what you rightfully deserve.
it's not in my character to wish people ill but i hope you do not get sleepless nights, lost appetite, staring blankly onto space, crying fits because all these are not, in any way, "feel good." i do hope you do not go around your daily grind with a seemingly heavy shoulder because the world seemed to be heavy on top of it. i pray that you do not experience a seemingly difficult bout of breathing as if there is a huge boulder lodged between your pericardium (IF in the first place, you know what a pericardium is).
i do not care who you are and what you are in your workplace. because when you step outside Mother Ignacia, you are as ordinary as the next person beside you. In my eyes, YOU ARE NOBODY. i do not know you; you are not my colleague, and i do not even belong to the same industry that your organization belongs to.
but your FB posts impacted on me --- because people had a field day insinuating and enjoyed several days of guessing games. because mr p's name has surfaced and floated from these people's speculations to the point of he being teased, being interrogated pointblank, and being stared at. there is no way that you can still claim that your post was not meant to cause hurt. because it did.
YOU ARE VERY WRONG TO ASSUME THAT A "GAG" IS JUST TO BE TAKEN AS SUCH WHEN POSTED ON AN OPEN, UNCONTROLLED SPACE SUCH AS FACEBOOK.
would you now go out of your way to approaching people (who commented, who read your post, who heard it from others) and telling each and everyone that it was just a "gag" and did not really mean anything?
would you go out of your way apologizing for the pain you caused and the name you besmirched?
would you have the brain to finally realize the adverse impact of your posts?
would you even have the heart to be able to empathize and feel for those who were affected as they are demoralized, anxious and anguished?
your lack of foresight did not only taint mr p's name (that he built through hard work) but it has caused me unwarranted stress and anguish. when people look at him as if he were the one who was caught on the act with someone in the workplace, it alleges how indecent he is, how uncommitted he is, how he disregards his relationship with me.
and you wonder why all eyes are on you when you. as you claimed, you did not mean anything to begin with? BUT people never looked at mr p differently until you posted that blind item, with a qualifier, "magaling na editor." you have, i guess, forgotten that the "magaling na editor" you mentioned in your post would probably have other roles in his (private) life beyond work, that PROBABLY he is someone else's son, father, sibling or partner. that in a bigger picture that you painted, there could probably be a person, who may be indirectly hit by your insinuations, indirect but still as impacted.
you might not be able to read this and even if you do, i doubt that you have the mental faculty and the emotional quotient to understand ---
let it be known, however, that i am affected adversely. you do not know my history nor the circumstances that i share with mr p, much more the hard work we put in our relationship. i take pride in the fact that we (mr p and i) share as much primacy to commitment, faithfulness and respect that (some) people, in committed relationships, seem to take for granted.
what you did is a double-edged sword --- while i feel so disheartened seeing mr p pained for his name being dragged, i have my own (hurt) feelings to address. i do not work in your organization. i do not work for you. we are not friends. even when i bump into you, i would not know what you look like but i will always remember that you violated me and everything that i cherished.
i can go on and on detailing here how irresponsible you are in every possible way but i realized it is a futile exercise. you will always believe how good you are and gloat how seemingly innocent your posts were.
you might even go scot-free and never to be made accountable for what you did. something that i think is not impossible given that you, by affinity and affiliation, belong to the powers that be in your organization.
i know, however, that this too shall come to pass. whatever trying times we (mr p and i) are facing now (as caused by you!) would only make us stronger because it did not kill us in the first place.
if there is but two things i realized:
(1) kabobohan and kayabangan are two lethal things by themselves but if found together, in a combo, makes one person believe that s/he is all "untouchable" and has about an entitlement to anything and everything.
(2) i am just TOO glad i pick my friends and associations, by choice. when i do a quick survey of the people in my life, those i cherish and those i work with, i realized how truly blessed i am --- to not have to work with you ---- because you are so full of yourself, a shitload of crap.
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