what am i feeling today?

i was chatting with my niece about my recent eureka experience with ipad, and she asked me how i was feeling now (given that i'm home, not doing anything and unemployed).

i told her that i am bored and a bit anxious but waiting hopefully for a job application that i look forward to receiving happy news from. i also said that i haven't felt the urgent need to look at other options, not yet for now.

for the meantime, i am trying to enjoy this "hiatus" by not even accepting writing and research sides (read: rakets) just so i know the feeling of nothing-ness. i even use less of the laptop and ipad unless i'm playing. i watch the news more religiously now and find time to watch (downloaded) movies after dinner. i have time for eat bulaga, face to face and T3, which amaze me to no end. those shows prove that human drama is unending and could be humorous when looked at differently. i find myself changed little by little in fact --- more tolerant, less stressed, funnier and more shallow, and unapologetic. LOL.

my last pay is nearly gone, and i haven't even had my usual mani- and pedi- service. i have some jewelry and new ballet flats in mind but i am putting everything on hold but only in my Wish List until, at least, when my birthday comes or I have work already.

the good thing about this (for which I am grateful) is that I do not feel inadequate or "not enough.". God has given me the grace to wait, and this is a true test of patience, a virtue of which I need to replenish every so often.

i am literally living my life "on a day at a time" basis as there is no need to hurry, to plan unnecessarily and to worry over the littlest things. for a change, i sleep soundly, eat on time and every thing seemed to be on stride.

i am thinking of (finally) starting to exercise, to walk then to run eventually since i have so much time. i need to check my cabinet and look for those newly-purchased books that are still wrapped and waiting to be read. there are just so many things to be looked into sa totoo lang.

i do not tire, however to pray for that work, and He knows how my heart desires it. Godwilling, it is within His plans for me.

and if everything flies, I think I would be prepared and more than ready. ngayon, i will blog more with the hope that I make sense even when sharing the most mundane of things, writing about boredom and making it appear enjoyable and fun and worth experiencing. after all, how can one appreciate so much when s/he does not experience so little?