in grief

i never thought i would cry this much when i haven't even taken care of you. all i know was that i wanted you to be mine the moment you walked out of your cage and ran to your mom and latched. getting you wasn't part of my plan but it would be nice for Bo to have company so our home would really be a home to you both. yesterday was your 1st month and in another month, we could have met again, more permanently. so i hoped.

i am in grief because you had me at a yawn. i carried you while you were shaking a bit, shy, until you comfortably rested your round, milk-filled tummy against the crook of my arm. i'm never known to be an impulse shopper but that night, without a doubt, i knew i had to have you. and Mr P gave me you.

which is even sadder now. you are a gift. his gift to me. but then again, you will always be mine because i chose you, and you chose to warm up with me.

i am so sorry that i wasn't there to defend you.

goodbye my dear and thank you. thank you for making me realize that i'm capable of loving this much. even at a yawn.

rest in peace Simon. grow up in Dog Heaven.

- for Simon
March 28 2010 - April 28 2010