Monday, August 18, 2014

Commitment, where art thou?

i am the most undisciplined when it comes to my own plan to lose weight.  in the first place, i might have been delusional to believing that i have a "Plan." aside from attempting a "no rice" diet, i don't do any exercise, i don't have any back-up plan of that sort.  all i know is that i've (again) avoided drinking soda (almost a month and counting!), minimized my intake of sweets, reduced my coffee to a cup during breakfast and drank more water and more luyang dilaw tea in between.  i still eat junk food (if i have a stash! i seldom have naman.), i eat rice, with more fish and veggies. i eat more rice with my fave ulam (whatever has sabaw or sarsa).  i'm so pinoy more than ever. 

i should be more disciplined and committed, i know.  sometimes, i do have a distorted sense of self-entitlement.  i work hard, i deserve to party harder.  i work hard, i deserve to enjoy what i earn.  good food is best enjoyed with family and friends, and i am always surrounded by family and friends.  good food, good company become a reward for a good work day.  (i never had a bad work day btw. God is amaaazziinnngg!! and so is my team!)

i thought C**en is my no-fail diet tool.  i haven't had myself tested again yet because of some financial concerns.  i don't want to join the bandwagon of juicing, delivered packed lunches, etc. because i cannot sustain those.  i know myself too well.  i cannot sustain those.  either i lose interest or the initial justification for it wanes. 

while i write this, i wonder what will compel me to dedicate myself to losing weight, to a healthier life?  in the past, it takes a dramatic twist in my so-called happy, peaceful life so i lose weight: a break up.  i'm too old for break-ups! hahaha! i mean, i hope there will be no more drastic changes when relationships fail. no hair cut, no change of routine, no nostalgic, senti moments.  forty, i think, is too old for such theatrical, major prod events.

nah, i just need to do it. without fuss.  without press release. 

i should get the old Pie back. asap.

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