warning: harsh post

"If you lie down with dogs, you will rise with fleas."

my cousin is beset with what could probably be the ultimate drama i have ever heard of. it has totally eclipsed my separation/failed marriage saga of 2007. i am not envious to say the least. in fact, every time a new angle of that drama unfolds, he seethes in anger then withdraws then looks spaced out. just this morning, he arrived from the province and he was, as expected, in a default highly intense, dramatic monologue and story-telling. he was ranting how some people's ignorance and pakikialam can cost him so much but he wants to tell them off and prove them wrong.

and because 2011 and recent events reaffirmed some observations, i told him, "ay naku, may mga ganyang tao talaga sa mundo --- pakialamero, nagmamarunong, bastos, matapobre, walang hiya, walang breeding. dalawa lang pwede mong gawin: patulan mo o deadmahin mo. ang tanong, kung sa patulan mo, may panalo ka? wala. dahil yan ang mga mismong taong ang akala sa sarili ay kahuhusay. sa labanang yan, talo ka na agad. pumatol ka eh. binaba mo ang sarili mo para makipagsabayan sa kanila. kalaunan, nakuha mo ba gusto mo? nagbago ba sila? hindi. kahit deadmahin mo yan, may kalulugaran ang mga yan. gawin mo sa tama at legal ang pantapat sa kanila. kung ayaw mo naman pumasok sa usaping legal eh di iasa mo sa karma ang kahihinatnan niya. sa manggigil ka diyan, wala namang epekto sa kanila. eh kung ang Mundo ang bumawi sa kanila? at may Dios. may katarungan. wag mo silang patulan dahil wala ka nang pinagkaiba sa kanila.

i am sure not all of you would agree with everything that i said, and i accept that. i just believe that we have to choose our battles. because if we are always combative, even resorting to dirty, cheaps tactics, emotional blackmail included, we become the very people we despise. from that alone, our defeat becomes very personal.