i'm back. alive. thank God!

recent coveted tote is now mine (LC curry large/long)

i arrived yesterday, and i realized that "thank God, i'm alive" was made most meaningful during this trip. 

i didn't mind not having a reliable connection in my room (the cabled Net was not getting any signal) because i'd rather be cooped inside watching tv than enjoying wifi in the lobby that has zero visibility of women.

we were forced to walk to the supermarket from the guest house where we were billeted.  we had to have our stock of bottled water.  you can never be too sure drinking from tap when overseas, especially from that side of the world.  we were the only women, and in jeans, walking, and it was quite an experience --- having to cross the streets, where rickshaws were kings and the other vehicles were royalties as well;  being stared at (must be my pink checkered umbrella!); and avoiding those crows that flew so low.  i promised myself i wouldn't dare walk again but no! we were, again, forced to while looking for a decent lunch place (on our departure day) because we could not get any further for the fear of being caught in the middle of a national strike.  it was a serious political mobilization as it was nationwide and simultaneous.

coke in a friendly sized can

to make the most of our Project visit, we joined our researcher's team in their fieldwork on April 3.  it was a 4-hour drive to the community, where a FGD was held and another 4-hr drive back (but it was 5 hours due to strong rains then flooded streets!).  we grabbed breakfast on our way. the usual was curried, spicy and hot, and i did not feel like taking pictures except for my drink --- a canned coke the size of a canned pineapple juice in manila.  when you order soda, they always ask you whether you want it normal or chilled ---- i understand that people in BDN prefer taking their soda normal (meaning in room temp).  then we continued with our travel ---- and almost got killed.

overtaking and swerving are very normal in their roads obviously.  our driver (our researcher hired a van), for sure, was as crazy in the road but he was extra careful and went slow when he was told that we were scared.  but despite his care, the others were not so we were not safe at all.  in fact, an overtaking bus almost hit us head on because it was not able to go back to its lane and crossed ours, blocking our path, and stopping in our side (a counter flow) and made a passenger alight.  it was the first time i ever felt my knees turned jell-o and couldn't place where my heart went.  it was a numbing, horrible feeling that i wanted to cut the road trip short and go back to the city.  because i was too professional at a fault, it was business as usual.  mabuti na lang maayos ang pagtanggap ng community sa amin doon or else i would have totally regretted pushing through.  of course, going back and taking that same route was as scary that i wasn't able to nap and was praying non-stop.

when things like this happen --- your nagging thought and that question you have long been avoiding surface again.  are all these worth it?  and you come to a conclusion that you would have to decide asap.

my boys waiting for mr p as he was bringing down my luggage

then, however, all i wanted was to be able to go back to my family again ---- and not make decisions muna.  overall, it was a productive trip, and people were accommodating and treated us well.