a friend always asks what my secret is for being the "cool", non-confrontational person that i am. that, when faced with a situation where all your pet peeves seem to be abound and your GMRC lessons from way back are tested to no end. she peppers me then, "how can you be so deadma? when all i wanted was to strangle them or scream my feelings out?" i always answer, "what good would it do me if patulan ko sila?"
please do not think that i'm Ice Queen. i get affected too. but i realized that no matter how miserable they want my life to be or how hard they pray so i suffer from some karmic retribution, they can only affect me insofar that i let them, that they can cause me anguish and hurt only if i allow them to.
i've come to terms with the fact that i cannot please everyone. that no matter how good i do or nice i be, there will be those who will disdain me (for reasons unknown). there could also be those who do not share my passions, who detest (some) decisions i made in life or who simply dislike me. period.
at this point in my life, i am more concerned with my life, how to better it, what good i could pay forward. i have long decided to embrace my own challenges, learn my lessons and be thankful for every blessing that comes my way, no matter how small.
walang puwang ang nega sa buhay ko ngayon. i couldn't care less if you made it your mission to make sure that i'd never be happy. you should know, by now, that happiness is a choice, and it isn't your choice to make.
as i write this, i realized that, maybe, just maybe, i am unconfrontational because i cannot measure the wrath i could be capable of. i have no idea what venom my mouth could spew or how evil my mind could work. and i do not want to test the water. i do not even know how long i could be this: quiet, passive, unaggressive.
you might be the wealthiest people on earth or the most powerful. i, honestly, do not care. leave me alone and let my loved ones be. you can wreak havoc in my life, you can curse me to the highest heaven, you can wish me dead. i will accept these blows without a fight. but when you affect my loved ones and give them sleepless nights, i will not take things in stride. namumuro na kayo sa akin sa totoo lang. wag na wag niyo akong susubukan (uli).
because as it is now, we all do not want to "discover" how the Ice Queen turns fiery.
MMXX Ramblings
5 years ago
3 comments:
Taray, that's the spirit! :D Just got your msg. about this blog, naiinspire tuloy akong i-revive na rin ang aking blog. I understand about the pressure that eventually creeps into blogging, when the whole process becomes somewhat obligatory. Good luck re: PMS job, hoping you get it.
'Yung pagiging cool and deadma mo despite anything that comes is, to me, a sign of maturity. And, I truly admire that about you. That's something I want to get from you. Hehe:)
Kung sino man 'yang mga nang-i-evil sa'yo, hayaan mo na sila, mamatay din 'yang mga 'yan! Ang importante, maganda ka patuloy kang gumaganda. *winks!*
Mabuhay ka, Tita Pie! Loveyah! :)
trins, next year siguro yung sa work in PMS. i want to finish my project first.
ket, thanks! love. love love! *hugs*
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