Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Waiting at a 50/50 Chance

So this is how waiting feels.

for someone quite impatient, I'm not really good at this.  from that day til now, I feel I'm on stitches.  Some heavy load seems to be weighing down on my chest.  The what ifs are here again.  I felt I wanted some rewind to do better.  But then again, it's done and the waiting begins.

Funny how sometimes I feel so confident, that I know what to say, as spontaneously and articulate as I thought and hoped.  but I end up wishing I said something else, using better words, constructed professional-sounding sentences.  looking back, the only thing that consoles me was that I was honest and sincere.

reality bites: you don't really know you want it oh so bad was when you had to wait for it after all.  you thought it was nothing.  you don't need/want it.  but you went ahead then it hits you, you want to see it fly.

and just the like those times when I'm jittery and impatient, i ramble on and on. hello, 42 year old.  you need some smack on your head.

FAITH.  always always always my lone resort when I feel i could have done better.  in the end, even if I did well (which wasn't really the case, I think), it is my Faith that allows me to believe and trust that all will be well.  because in the grand scheme of things, there is no better else to do but to give and hope for the best, and wait.

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