the year that was

in 4 days, it'd be 2011 already.  to say that a lot of things life-changing (personal and otherwise) happened this year would be the understatement of all time.   good or bad, there is so much to be thankful for.  God is good.

i know that somewhere in this blog, i already wrote about lessons i learned along the way.  since the year is about to end, i think, it is only fitting to write about lessons again.  some, i'm sure, would be repetitions but if those had impact on me, i'm pretty sure those are worth mentioning again.

1. you are accountable only to God and to yourself.  you cannot please everyone, and you should not even attempt to please others.  it is a futile effort because most, if not all, will always have something to say (often in disagreement or misunderstanding of your circumstances).  if, however, there are those who are happy for you, pray for them as your thank you.  to those, who manage to praise you for whatever reason, know to say thanks, sincerely. 

do not be too hard on yourself.  make realistic expectations and grounded goals.  it is not wrong to aspire and dream big but make sure that you work on those dreams and not leave to God every little thing like some sort of a miracle.  i still have a lot in my wish list but i managed to categorize these into short-, long-term achievables and "big dreams" that would either require too much time and effort in accomplishing or would be dependent on a lot of other variables (read: sacrifices).  when you are turning 37, you would want to de-clutter and de-stress your life; thus, you realize that everything you want can be achieved (eventually) so long as they are simple, and yes, realistic.

2.  you are different but you are beautiful.  you changed.  you are either fatter or younger looking or have mellowed down or became more feisty.  the bottom line is, you are no longer the same person you were a year ago, 5 years ago, 15 years ago. and you will never be the same nor similar like your sister, your mom, your best friend.  you are different like every one is to another, which makes every one special and interesting.    with this in mind, your opinion, your taste, your standards will never be the same (or exactly in the same plane) as another person.  despite all these differences, you deserve as much respect and acceptance, and you need to give as much consideration and sensitivity to others.  at the same time, your being different could give you heartbreaks, unwarranted frustrations, seemingly unending problems and challenges. 

do not, ever, feel insecure about you.  you are with flaws, imperfect but you have gifts.  use these wisely and eventually be able to optimize them by being a gift (to others) yourself. if your opinions differ, stand your ground.  do not judge others because they are different.  you do not want to be judged yourself anyway.  know when to fight your battles and choose these battles wisely.  like what i posted in my Facebook profile ("about me"), if it is not worth the fight, it is time to let go.

3.  it is never wrong to be materialistic so long as you work hard for it, and you do not lose control of yourself (and that you do not rely on others to get these things for you).  it is only fitting that you spend what you earn, that you see what you have worked your a** off, that you have something to always look forward to after sleepless nights and overtime work and sometimes, making your weekends work days.  it could be a new bag, a home massage, another travel overseas.  you deserve everything you worked hard for.

4. prayers are empowering.

5. no matter how cerebral you want to be as your basis in decision making, the heart is powerful, compelling.  (i often realized that when i let my heart sway my decisions, i become more understanding and forgiving, of myself, especially, even when things do not turn out the way i hoped it would.)

6. there might be no justice in this world but God is a fair one.  do not lose faith.

7. a heartfelt "thank you," a sincere "sorry" and a well-lived "i love you" make you a beautiful person inside and out.

8. never stop learning.  listen. read. write. observe. share. be curious. ask questions.

9. get a life.

10. choose happy. 

11. give your best.

12. hope.