i'm 36

i turned 36 yesterday and was totally floored with the outpouring of well wishes from loved ones, both through FB and SMS.  thanks to technology and social networking sites, even those who are just acquaintances (those i bumped into along school hallways or met professionally) and whom i haven't seen since childhood greeted me a HBD.  i have no complaints.  it was sweet and very thoughtful (when they could choose not to have bothered in the first place.) i was committed to thank each and every person who greeted, and i think i was able to do so.  it was tiring, i tell you but it humbled me.  i hope my next year would be welcomed with as much affection and generosity from people.  (i should be nicer, don't you think? lol.) 
i got myself a cake with sparkling candles because i wanted to feel how it were blowing candles at 36.  it was .. i couldn't explain it. lol! i guess, i never really felt my age and never looked it so 36 is just that, a number. funny how Nana volunteered to blow my candles with me because, like what she asserted, she is herself a July celebrator.  the sparklers didn't sparkle as much as i hoped it would but it made the day feel like a birthday really.  mr P asked what food i wanted for my birthday, and i was like, "i'm too old to even celebrate!" but he insisted i should get food prepared.  so yesterday were pansit canton (my fave!), ensaimada from Red Ribbon and the mango walnut torte from Kitchen of Cakes and Coffee (because Amici/Cara Mia ran out of candles! lol! so we went to that cake resto across it), and it was a nice decision.  (today, our lunch is beef kaldereta, fried chicken and fried veggie lumpia.  all homecooked and usual lunch fare, which is so acceptable so i wouldn't feel we are celebrating.)

it was also a weekend when i had to meet with loved ones, including celebrating another milestone with the boys.  i just got back from a very "scholarly" conference in Singapore (and some "tourist-y" moments with SSEAYP batchmates and Conference co-scholars), and it was nice to be home with my family again.  the boys had their 5th booster shot (thus, that "drugged" look in their sleep (in photo), and their vet is a friend (who would also be celebrating her birthday this month) so it was a good time to chat about the latest showbiz chika.  we talked about the lloydie-shaina romance and felt icky about it.  i felt strongly against that relationship because of its timelines (e.g. overlaps and cheating somewhere, somehow, which for almost all of us, are always unacceptable and unforgivable.)

writing this, i realized that not "celebrating 36" sounded so ungrateful.  regardless if there'd be cake and candles, food and visitors, there is EVERY reason to celebrate life, my life.  i am blessed with so many and so much --- from the material things to the out of this world, almost out of fairy tale books experiences of pain, defeats and love.  i have family who i love dearly, friends who i cherish, work that forces my brain to remain optimally functional and someone who allowed me to love again but opened my eyes to loving me more.  God is good.

and now that i'm 36, i would want to do more.  i'd be exercising and eating healthier (i lost 4lbs just by walking around Singapore so i thought what more would i lose if i REALLY exercise on purpose?). i'd save. i'd think about going back to school and choose which program to pursue for my Ph.D. i'd want to start doing a research, which would make me a certified geek but as scholarly as my girlfriends in NUS.

mr P asked me what i wanted for my birthday --- he was thinking of getting me that red tote that i have been salivating over but i got myself 2 new bags from Charles and Keith Singapore already.  those were quite good steals, promise or else i wouldn't buy even one.  then i realized i wanted an iphone, a digital cam and yes, that red tote (lol.). i don't know what he's getting me but knowing how practical giftgivers we are, i could bet he'd get me an iphone (so i no longer have to play bejeweled in his iphone.) then there comes this black prada tote being offered from an FB contact, and i was like, whoa, i want that! yes, i'd buy myself that obscenely expensive bag if i get back to that weight and size i secretly desire.  it's another practical incentive, i think. (wink.)

on a serious note, i pray for a healthier me and good health for my family and loved ones.  and i want to go back to government service.  that would really make me a more fulfilled me.