feeling human and being humane

this week was a true test of my capability to feel very strong emotions. 

i never doubted how passionate, emphatic, loving and ridiculously generous i am.  i know i am good-natured at heart, and i am able to be forbearing.  i know this, and i am not embarrassed at all.  in most cases, i am patient.  i am bold but never confrontational.

i have recently been confirmed to be obsessive-compulsive, something that prior to empirical evidence, i was quite proud to have claimed.  now, i feel so psycho and weird but i embrace my OC-ness because (looking back at how i was) i cannot deny my true self anyway.

however, my recent FB postings were reflections of how affected i was with the world. i was angry at people who were arrogant yet stupid.  i was upset with people who chose to be Peter Pans.  i was utterly frustrated with incompetence, intolerant of abuse and indifferent at self-advertisers.  hate is such a strong word but i was bordering on that already.  i disliked free riders, loathed materialistic bitches and avoided "fake" people like they are big time allergies.

i did my math (and yes, economics) to finally decide if it's worth giving these people second (or third) chances.  and even with (some) costs outweighing the benefits, i felt they are not worth my time, not worth the test on my emotional threshold and not worth another blog after this.

in my mind, i can hear you assert, "If God can forgive, why can't you?"  and if you are my friend, you will know very well what my answer would be.  

"i am not God, thankfully. therefore, i can be unforgiving."